I find myself running ragged bordering on exhausted, and maybe if I took more time to just reflect and be still I would see things from a different perspective - it would be easier to sift out the URGENT from the IMPORTANT!! I am sure too that if I took more time to stop, and reflect and to be thankful I would quit moaning so much about always being busy busy busy!!
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The problem is I am a problem solver and an ACTIVIST - if I see a problem I don't rest until 'problem solved'. I have recently been involved in a case at West End Impact that the council have been working on for 17 years but I have been like a Jack Russell with a bone. We will solve this man's problems no matter what as its a life or death situation. Regardless of the man having a Compulsive Disorder or being stubborn, regardless of the problem being far deeper than my remit and the impossibility of the situation, I will find a solution!! That's my character!! I have brought this problem to GOD on several occasions and the members of the City Council involved said themselves it would take a MIRACLE (that in itself was a motivation for me :) Needless to say we are making progress and God has sent some incredibly qualified people to help us make that progress happen. but it has taken heaps of time and energy for just one of the 200 clients that come to WEST END IMPACT!!
I have been frustrated with prayer as I often feel like God is dangling the carrot!! It seems like he inspires us with ideas and gives us gifts and abilities but there is always one part of the equation missing. Resources and money and capacity to carry things through is often missing. The apathy of the Christians around us who never seem to have the time, or guts to get stuck in are also a disabling factor. The thing is we have a GOD who can supply all our needs, he owns the cattle on a thousand hills, he can open up the floodgates of heaven and provide all we need for any project or mission or person we want to help. Does HE though??? Sorry to be so outspoken and honest!! I guess though, instead of this meaning I pray less, it should mean I pray more. There were many people in the Bible who prayed with persistence and didn't get the result they wanted so they prayed more. Jacob for example wrestled with GOD!! I have started to read Philip Yancey's book on 'PRAYER' and I think this is going to help me greatly in my struggle. I am reminded that PRAYER is not just about asking for stuff or guidance or help but is also about thanking GOD for all that he is and all that he has done for us. The thankful heart changes your outlook, and I am sure it helps your health too physically as well as mentally. It's being transformed by the renewing of our mind Roman 12 v 1-2!! PRAYER is also confessing our weaknesses which means admitting our dependency on GOD, confessing our wrong doing and wrong attitudes which often cripple us, and confessing the things that we should be doing and aren't, watching less telly, spending more time with family!!! etc. We also need to tell GOD more how wonderful HE is but of course if we are not experiencing his wonders how can we tell him - so we need to take time to experience HIS wonders, his creation, study his character in the BIBLE, see his loveliness in others who are also made in GOD's image.
So all in all I am seeing that if I take more time for moments of prayer or 20 minutes of prayer my whole prospective will start to change and maybe I just won't be so busy. Maybe I just won't feel so busy or maybe I will stop doing some of the things that I shouldn't be doing!! Or maybe I will find it easy to say no to the unimportant things that fill my time.
Help me LORD to have more faith in prayer and not always think of PRAYER as asking for things or getting results but more of a change of attitude and being in your presence as I go about my daily life in you!!!
